


REC

by Bookkbaby



Series: VIDEO [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Bondage, Dirty Talk, Dubious Consent, Gangbang, Humiliation, M/M, M/M/M/M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Rimming, Rough Sex, Sex Toys, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-06
Updated: 2013-04-06
Packaged: 2017-12-07 15:28:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/750083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookkbaby/pseuds/Bookkbaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Then he noticed the video camera.</p>
            </blockquote>





	REC

**Author's Note:**

> There is art that goes with this fic as well! The lovely brightfallenstars was kind enough to draw a piece inspired by this fic, which you can find here (warning for NSFW art!): http://brightfallenstars.tumblr.com/post/47260090959/gift-wrapped-drawn-for-bookkbabys-fic-rec-x

When Garth first called with information about the hunt, they'd suspected a doppelganger or a shifter. There wasn't much information, but what little there was seemed to fit.

In a small town in Illinois, evil twins were popping up all over the place. The doubles always vanished after a few hours, but they wrecked havoc while they were there. Whatever was happening, it was definitely their kind of thing, so Team Free Will had packed up their gear and left the bunker.

Cas had been living in the bunker with Sam and Dean for a few months. He had his own bed, his own clothes, and his own toothbrush, all of which he actually needed to use these days. His angel mojo was all but gone. The faint wisps of Grace he still had weren't good for anything except to preserve his many centuries worth of memories and lend him a bit of extrasensory perception. It wasn’t angel healing or teleportation, but Cas’s experience and his senses had come in pretty damn useful.

He still couldn't shoot worth a damn from any sort of distance, but he was learning.

They'd checked into the cheapest motel in town early Monday afternoon. Sam and Dean headed out to interview witnesses and victims, decked out in full FBI gear, while Cas stayed back to research. People skills and lying (by something other than omission) were other works-in-progress in terms of Cas's hunting repertoire. Dean didn't mind. The more skills Cas had to learn, the longer he had legitimate excuses not to let the former angel out of his sight and possibly not get him back.

Some monster's teeth or claws, jail time, a car accident, ( _some hot chick with huge breasts and a sultry smile_ ); it was a tough life and Dean was determined to keep Cas safe from all of it.

The interviews turned up no leads and neither did staking out the crime scenes. As far as they could tell, nothing supernatural had happened at all, except that almost all of the victims had iron-clad alibis for the times their doubles had been spotted elsewhere. Dean didn't just mean 'my wife will swear I was with her all night'-type alibis, he was talking about 'here's the video footage from my visit to the bank, please note the timestamp'.

Some had even run into their doubles in front of witnesses, which ruled out some kind of freaky teleportation mind-scramble. The vics didn't even seem to have much in common; no hobbies, no clubs, and the local grocery store had been a bust when Dean, Sam, and Cas had checked it out for clues. The only link was a block that connected two parts of a popular biking trail. All of the victims had been jogging or walking their dog down said block the night before their double appeared. While fairly well-traveled during the day, it was almost deserted after the sun went down.

It wasn't much to go on, particularly as they still didn't have any idea what it was they were hunting, but when a new rash of doubles appeared and put two men in the hospital and one in the morgue, they couldn't delay.

They'd waited for nightfall and headed to the block. No lights were on in any of the houses, but Cas had been able to sense a very strong energy emanating from one of them. They'd broken in and Dean had led the charge to the basement, Cas and Sam just behind him.

As it turned out, they weren't after a shifter or a doppelganger.

Dean had burst in on the coven mid-ritual and stopped to stare, jaw dropping. He'd interrupted a lot of dark spells in his time as a hunter, but this was the first time he'd ever actually seen a coven specializing in sex magic.

There was one woman on the bed sandwiched between two men (and having the time of her life if the sounds she was making were any indication). A second woman stood beside the bed, naked and sweaty like she'd just left the writhing group and reading out loud from an ancient-looking book.

The woman with the book looked up, eyes wide with shock when she saw the gun. Then Cas bumped Dean's shoulder and he broke into action.

He lifted his gun, ready to order the witch to stop, but he was too late. The witch shouted the last syllables of the spell triumphantly and a shockwave of energy burst from the center of the room. Dean felt the energy hit him, burning in his chest for a second or two and then it, and the four witches, were gone.

Instead of the witches, there were now four copies of Dean.

"You've got to be kidding me," Dean said, lowering his gun.

One of the doubles was dressed in a fine suit and was glancing around the room, running a hand over his mouth like his teeth ached. Vampire?

Another was in jeans and a leather jacket; he stared at Cas, eyes flicking between green and ink-black, which made every protective instinct in Dean rear up, growling.

The third was dressed in a pinstriped suit and blue tie, hair neatly combed, and his eyes were wide with shock and a trace of fear. Dean was reminded of the time Zachariah had mind-wiped him and stuck him in a civilian job. He scowled.

The fourth Dean was one Dean already recognized from one of Zachariah's other mind games. The faded green jacket and thigh holster were dead giveaways. He was the Dean from the 2014 that never was, and he was eyeing not only the other Deans, but Cas and Sam with utmost suspicion.

"Ok, what the hell is going on?" future Dean asked.

"I have no idea, but I like it," the demon said, finally taking his eyes off of Cas to glance around the room. Dean, keeping half an eye on the two monsters, followed his double's gaze.

The room itself was large and open, set up almost like a porn set. There was a huge flatscreen TV on the wall opposite the bed, connected to a laptop computer on the floor beneath it. A digital video camera, small enough to look ridiculous on the tripod it sat on, faced the king-size bed. There was a bathroom visible through a door on the left wall.

The only thing that broke the illusion was the long table against the wall opposite the stairs, covered with tools of the trade; bronze bowl, herbs, bones, candles, crystals, even a small athame and a mortar and pestle. A large pentagram surrounded by complex symbols decorated the floor beneath the bed, most of the design hidden. An open chest, filled halfway with toys, rested at the foot of the bed.

"I'm dreaming," the civilian declared firmly. "That's what this is. A dream."

"Do you have a lot of dreams featuring multiple copies of yourself, a hot stranger, and your brother?" the demon asked. "I know _I_ have, but I didn't expect you to be that kinky, office boy."

The civilian - Smith seemed a good a name for him as any - opened his mouth, the tips of his ears red with rage and embarrassment, but before he could speak the vampire cut him off.

"My guess would be parallel dimension," he said. He looked at Dean's gun, unconcerned. "So I'm a hunter in this world? Guess I never got turned here."

"No, he didn't," Sam said firmly, stepping up beside Dean. His tone was defensive, which was no surprise; he still felt guilt for the things he'd done (or hadn't done, as the case may be) when he'd lost his soul and the vampire's comment hit too close to home.

The vampire grinned.

"Hey, Sammy," he said. Sam gave him a withering stare, equal parts because of the nickname and because he saw in the vampire one of his nightmares come to life.

"Sam," future Dean said hoarsely. Sam looked at him, confused. Future Dean smiled; the expression looked strange on him, strained and unnatural, like he'd forgotten how. "You're still Sam."

"Yeah," Sam said slowly, uncertain. Future Dean shook his head. He gave Cas a lingering look, expression shuttered, then turned his attention to Dean.

"You've done good."

"Thanks," Dean said tersely, eyeing the demon. The demon was undressing Cas with his eyes, giving him long, slow once-overs, like he had _any right_ to look. Cas was staring evenly back, either unaware of the type of scrutiny he was receiving or not bothered by it. Probably the former, which made Dean all the more tempted to step sideways just a bit and block Cas from the demon's view. He resisted the urge.

"This is all very sentimental and sweet, but I'd like to go back to my own world now," the demon said. "I've got no interest in scrambling up the ladder here, not when my work is finally paying off." His eyes lingered on Castiel's hips and he leered. "Though for _you_ , blue eyes, I might stick around for an hour. Maybe even two."

Dean resisted the urge to growl, wishing they'd carried the demon-killing knife in with them. Stupid oversight, but then again none of them had found any sulfur at the crime scenes.

"Other worlds don't exist," Smith insisted. "And what the hell do you mean, 'turned'?"

"Into a vampire," Cas said simply. Smith looked at him.

"Vampires don't-"

"Can it, office boy," the demon said, turning to face him. Smith glanced over, irritated. "Vampires are real. So are ghosts. Oh, and demons?" His eyes went black. Smith stepped back, stunned. "We're real too. Now shut up and let the big boys talk."

Smith narrowed his eyes as soon as the demon turned away again, but he kept his mouth shut.

"I have no interest in sticking around here either," the vampire said. "I'm all for going back, no harm done."

Dean's grip tightened on his gun.

"Neither of you are going anywhere," he said to the demon and the vampire. The other two were human, but these were the kinds of beasts Dean hunted. He wasn't about to just send them on their merry way, whether or not they were from his world. It wouldn't be the first time he'd killed something wearing his face. He could figure out the other two later.

"Oh?" the demon asked, grinning. "And what, exactly, do you-"

"Dean, you can't kill them," Cas said.

"What?" Dean asked. He looked at Cas, then the group of doubles. "Stay put." He grabbed Cas and Sam and tugged them back a bit towards the stairs, then half-turned towards them. He wanted to keep an eye on the creatures in the room. "Why the hell not?"

"It has to do with the nature of parallel dimensions," Cas said. "It's dangerous magick, Dean. Even among the Host, it was restricted to those that were highest in rank."

"So?" Dean said. "It's not a first time a group of dumbasses have gotten a hold on a book way above their pay grade."

"I've read up a bit about this," Sam said. He glanced at the group, wary as Dean. "Things travelling between dimensions leaves little... tears, I guess? The longer those tears are open, the bigger they get, and more stuff starts falling through."

"Precisely," Cas said, giving Sam an approving nod. "And sending a corpse through is ineffective. The spirit and the body have already separated, so the doorway remains partially open."

"So if we gank them, we can't close the door," Dean surmised. Sam and Cas both nodded. Dean groaned. "Great. So we send them back, gank the witches, and head home."

"Actually, the witches would probably get stuck in whatever world they're in," Sam said. "Door's shut, they'd need to open a new one and they might not end up here. Dimensions are tricky things."

Cas was nodding.

"One less complication, I guess," Dean said. "Cas, I don't suppose you know any dimens-"

"If you're looking for a way to send us home, I know a spell."

Dean, Sam, and Cas all looked up. The demon was smirking, his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

"But first," he continued, turning his gaze to Cas. "I have to ask. Blue eyes, are you a virgin?"

Dean stepped between the two of them, scowling for all he was worth at his demonic counterpart.

"What's the spell?" he demanded. The demon held up his hands in mock-surrender.

"Calm down. I only asked because it requires a sacrifice," he said. If he'd been trying to calm Dean, that was most certainly not the way to do it. Dean's hand tightened on his gun, finger itching to empty the round into the demon's chest. Silver wouldn't kill him and it'd be really, really satisfying.

"You're not killing anyone, so you can just forget about it," Dean said. The demon shook his head.

"I never said anything about killing." He leered again. "Come now, what else might a _virgin_ be able to sacrifice?"

No.

No way. No way in _Hell_. Or on Earth. Or in Heaven or in Purgatory, for that matter.

Dean was about to speak, to tear into the smirking douchebag standing in front of him and list all the reasons that _would never happen_ , starting with 'Cas is straight' and 'Cas isn't interested' and ending with Dean biting his lip to keep from saying how badly he wished Cas wasn't either of those things.

Cas got there first.

"You talking about sex magic," Castiel said calmly. "Very well. I consent."

There was a protest from the other side of the room, but it was completely drowned out by the roaring in Dean's ears. He looked at Cas incredulously, feeling like the world had suddenly flipped and he was falling into space.

"What?" he croaked.

"Cas, are you sure?" Sam asked, concerned. "We can probably find another way."

"It's fine, Sam. I believe I'm familiar with the spell the demon's thinking of," Cas said. He looked over the group, apparently unaffected by the prospect of performing a magic ritual in which his virginity was the sacrifice.

And since when was Cas a virgin, anyway?

Dean faintly heard Cas say something unintelligible – it certainly wasn’t in English – and the demon reply in the affirmative. The name of the ritual, probably, and Dean _knew_ he should be paying attention, but his mind was still stuck on _Cas_ and _virgin_.

"But you were _married_ ," Dean blurted out, then added belatedly. "To a woman."

He wasn't sure which was stronger grounds for disqualification from the ritual, but surely one of them had to be. Cas frowned at him.

"You lie to people to make your job easier, Dean. Is it really so surprising that others would do the same?" he asked. Dean gaped.

"And you and Meg never-?"

Cas just stared at him like he was a particularly bright student that had suddenly failed an easy math test, disappointed and a bit bemused.

"Of course she and I 'never'," he said primly. He hesitated, then continued, confused. "You once paid a woman to have sex with me, so why-?" He glanced at Dean's counterparts again and his expression closed off. "Never mind. The portal _must_ be shut, though. This seems like the best solution, despite how... uncomfortable it may be."

Dean wanted to ask what Cas meant. He wanted to explain that Chastity had been _then_ and this was _now_. Things had changed. Well, they'd changed for Dean.

He wanted to explain that this wasn't something Cas should feel like he _had_ to do. They had time; a little bit of research might turn up something that didn't require Cas to fuck a bunch of Dean-clones, especially if the idea made him uncomfortable.

Was it the fact that they were men, or was it because they looked like Dean?

Dean bitterly supposed it didn't matter, since Cas being uncomfortable with the idea at all, for any reason, still precluded the possibility of anything more between them. Funny, he thought he'd already accepted that ages ago, but the realization settled like a stab wound in his heart.

"Excellent. Now, if we're all in agreement-" the demon started, stepping towards Cas with a predatory gleam in his eyes.

"We're _not_ ," Dean snapped, moving to keep between the demon and Castiel. "No way."

"Oh? What's your objection?" the demon asked, raising an eyebrow. Dean opened his mouth, closed it, and glared when he realized he couldn't use the first three arguments that came to mind.

First, Cas was his. Second, Cas was _his_. Third, _Cas was his_. His best friend, his brother-in-arms, his partner, his confidante, his angel, his wet dream for what felt like years ( _the love of his life_ ). It didn't matter that Cas didn't reciprocate on anything other than a fraternal level. It didn’t matter that Dean had taken to bar-hopping again in an attempt to drown out how much Cas didn’t (couldn’t) want him back in the bodies of other people.

But none of that gave him any claim over who Cas had sex with. He had no real claim over Cas at all, just desire. He didn't have a leg to stand on when it came to talking Cas out of doing this, no matter how tight his chest now felt.

Fortunately, it was at that moment that something other than the snarling jealous rage inside his ribs chose to speak up.

"It's dangerous," Dean heard himself say. He grinned triumphantly, mentally patting himself on the back.

"Dean," Cas said tightly, irritated. Dean didn't care. Cas could be pissed all he wanted if he thought that Dean was treating him with kid gloves, but Dean would be damned again before he handed Cas off to two monsters, a civilian, and a hunter who'd lost his humanity.

"We won't harm him, promise," the vampire chimed in.

"The ritual requires a living virgin, if that helps," the demon said, bored. "You'll get blue eyes here back in one piece."

"My name is Castiel," Cas said pointedly. He looked at Dean and Sam. "I'll be fine. This is the quickest and easiest way to send them all back and I am not opposed. Stop treating me like a child."

"We're just worried," Sam said softly. "Cas, are you sure?"

Dean was tempted to shoot Sam a betrayed look; how could he even _think_ -

"Yes."

Dean glanced down.

He was the last person to lecture Cas about saving his first time for something (some _one_ ) special. Dean had been so eager to go rid of his virginity he'd hooked up in the backseat of the Impala with the first chick who'd given him a second glance. He couldn't even remember what that first girl's name had been, nor most of the others that had come after her.

He couldn't (wouldn't) object that sex should be between a man and a woman. Or between just two people.

This was going to happen whether he liked it or not. Dean had figured that Cas would eventually notice the looks women in bars gave him, or the attention he got from men on the street; he'd thought that Cas would one day notice and reciprocate. Dean had dreaded that day. He hadn't expected things to go like this.

Cas didn't even seem to want it. Dean supposed that giving up his virginity to send the Deans back to their dimensions didn't seem like a bad trade; what other reason did Cas have for agreeing? It still didn't seem fair to Dean. It wasn't that someone who wasn't him was going to be the first to have sex with Cas (he _knew_ it would never happen, he did, his chest could stop aching any minute now), though that burned him up inside; it was that Cas had to approach something that was fun and felt good as though it was a chore. Sex shouldn't be a _chore_ , damnit.

But Cas had agreed to do it. It didn't matter what his reasons were, he'd said 'yes'.

"Fine," Dean bit out. He glared at the demon. "But Sam and I are staying here to make sure none of you try anything."

Sam almost jumped, startled by the suggestion, but he didn't object. Cas, on the other hand...

"No," Cas said firmly. "You and Sam will wait upstairs. Once the ritual is complete, I'll join you and we can go."

At least Cas had enough sense not to ask Dean to leave the house, because _no way in hell_.

"It'll take an hour or two at the most," the demon said. His eyes were wandering again and Dean almost growled. "Probably closer to two. We might as well make it fun instead of just 'wham, bam, thank you-'"

"Enough," Dean snapped. He looked at Cas, rage easing and an ache taking its place. "Do you want this, Cas?"

"I am not opposed," Cas said carefully, looking Dean in the eye. He was quiet for a moment. "Go ahead upstairs. I'll be there soon."

"If you're sure..." Sam said uncertainly, already half-turned towards the steps. Dean dropped his gaze again, hoping that none of what he felt was showing on his face.

He took a deep breath.

"If any of you hurt him, I will find a way to take it out of your hide," he said, sending an empty glare at his counterparts. His heart wasn't in it.

The demon smirked.

"Is that a promise?" he purred. Dean scowled. The demon waved dismissively. "Blue eyes here is in good hands. _Very_ good hands."

"Castiel," Castiel corrected again. The demon shrugged.

"Well then, _Castiel_ , why don't you head to the bathroom and get yourself cleaned up?" the demon asked.

Dean headed for the stairs reluctantly.

"I'd like a nice, clean hole to fuck."

Dean almost turned around at that and bit his tongue to keep from snarling. Cas wasn't a cheap whore, damnit.

It wasn't his job to say anything. Cas could take care of himself and apparently he didn't object to the demon's phrasing. Dean heard him say 'very well', but didn't turn to look and see if Cas was headed to the small bathroom in the basement.

Sam, who had lingered at the bottom of the steps, gave Dean a sympathetic, apologetic look, but Dean just tucked his head down and led the way up the stairs.

* * *

 

Castiel looked into the bathroom mirror and rubbed a damp hand over his face. He'd finished 'cleaning up' as the demon in the next room had so crudely suggested, but then he'd pulled his pants back on. It felt too strange to disrobe here, even though he knew he'd be taking his clothes off again within minutes. The only concessions to the occasion he'd made were his jacket, which he'd laid over the closed toilet seat, and his shoes.

This was simultaneously everything he had ever wanted and nothing at all like what he'd dreamed. Those few times he had allowed his all too human fantasies to run free, this was not how he'd imagined having sex for the first time.

At least his partner would be Dean, many Deans, though none of them his Righteous Man. It was more than Castiel could have asked for, but less than what he wanted.

What he wanted... it was impossible, but Cas had dreamed that his Dean would realize that what Castiel felt for him went far beyond friendship, a love that was both selfish and selfless, and that Dean would reciprocate. Cas had dreamed of them falling into bed together, the details unimportant so long as it was them coming together in a consummation more emotional than physical.

Perhaps this was some kind of twisted reward, since none of the fantasies he'd briefly entertained had any hope of coming true. His Dean saw him as no more and no less than a brother, not a lover, not a life partner.

Cas dropped his gaze from his reflection and wiped his hand on his T-shirt. His heart was hammering with nerves and anticipation, excitement heating his blood. He opened the door connecting the bathroom to the bedroom and stepped through.

The alternate-universe Deans were all standing around the bed discussing something in hushed tones, but immediately quieted when they noticed Castiel.

The demon stepped forward first. No surprise, given the way he'd dominated the earlier conversation. He was grinning, cocky, and giving Cas a slow once-over that made Castiel's blood heat despite the fact that the eyes lingering on his hips and thighs were black, not green. The demon was still Dean in form, if not in spirit, and that was enough to get Cas's body on board. His mind still urged caution; he was practically human now, and there were monsters in the room.

"You ready for us, angel?" the demon asked. Cas frowned suspiciously.

"How did you-"

"I can smell it," the demon purred, burying his face in Castiel's neck and running the tip of his nose over the column of flesh, inhaling deeply. He licked at Castiel's pulse, causing Cas to give a full-body shudder. "I can taste it too, the angel in you..." The demon drew back, grinning wickedly. "Shall we get started?"

Cas couldn't speak, so he nodded instead. The demon grabbed his hand, surprisingly gentle for such a fell creature, and led him towards the bed. As they passed the video camera, Cas noticed that Smith seemed unhappy about something, but then they were at the edge of the mattress.

The demon glanced left, briefly, and then smiled down at Castiel as he pulled the former angel in closer. Cas's heart was beating a tattoo against his ribs, trepidation and anticipation heavy in his stomach.

"We're going to take good care of you," the demon promised, eyes green, and Cas felt himself involuntarily relaxing. This demon was less like a foul beast of the Pit and more like the Dean Castiel knew, and so when the demon leaned in to kiss him, Cas gave himself over willingly.

The demon's stubble rasped against Castiel's own, but the demon's lips felt much softer and smoother. The demon's hands dropped to Castiel's waist, tugging his belt gently out of the loops.

Another body, this one colder, came up behind Castiel and arms wrapped around his waist. The vampire slid his hands beneath Castiel's shirt, fingertips playing over the former angel's abdomen. Cas shivered and then tensed when the vampire began lightly nipping at his neck. The drag of blunt teeth over skin, the knowledge that any moment those teeth could turn sharp and dangerous, sent a twinge of anxiety through Cas.

The vampire chuckled.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to kill you," he said, bringing Castiel's T-shirt up. Cas lifted his arms unthinkingly to help, briefly blinded by the material.

Everything had been going so well, the two alternates he had been most wary of so gentle that keeping his guard up had momentarily slipped his mind. Even if he hadn't, he doubted he would have been able to prevent what came next. Not with merely human reflexes.

As the shirt slipped off one wrist, the vampire suddenly pulled both of Castiel's arms down and around behind his back. The T-shirt was quickly tangled around both hands and before Castiel could even think to pull away, the demon in front of him was wrapping his own belt around him just above the elbows. In seconds, the belt was too tight around him for him to move his arms.

Cas tried to yank his hands out of the twisted material, but whatever the vampire had done, he couldn't free his wrists.

"I told you we'd take care of you," the demon said, voice low and dark as he yanked his own belt out of the loops. He wrapped it around Castiel as well, higher up so his arms were completely immobilized. Cas glared at him.

"You don't need to tie me up to ensure-"

The demon kissed him. The kiss before had been soft, gentle, so close to what Cas had dreamed of when he had allowed himself the luxury. This kiss was dominance and possession, there to conquer rather than caress. Cas struggled to pull away, but the demon's hand came up and grabbed his chin. Fingers dug into the sides of Castiel's jaw, prying it open and allowing the demon's tongue entrance.

When the demon finally pulled back, Castiel's lips were wet and his breathing was heavy. The demon grinned, satisfied.

"Maybe I don't, but it's more fun this way." With that, he grabbed Cas's shoulders and turned him so his back was to the bed, then shoved him. Cas fell backward with a startled yelp, fighting the strips of leather and cloth that kept him bound.

He was caught by someone warm and solid and twisted his head to look, only for his lips to be claimed again. He could feel hands tugging at his jeans and boxers, pulling them down and exposing his erection. He instinctively tried to close his legs at the first brush of cool air against the sensitive skin, but heard harsh laughter and then warm hands easily pushed apart his legs and held him open. The demon insinuated himself between Cas's legs and leaned over him. The mouth that had captured Cas let go, allowing the demon to grab his chin.

"One more thing," the demon said, reaching into the back pocket of his jeans and coming out with something Cas didn't recognize. It was a plastic ball, riddled with holes, with leather straps on either side. The demon leaned in to Cas, pressing their hips together and grinding against Castiel. "Open up."

Cas eyed the item mistrustfully, biting his lip to keep in the moan at the friction.

"What is tha-" His question was cut off by the ball. The demon shoved the gag into his mouth, forcing his jaw a little wider than was strictly comfortable, and was fastening the belt behind his head before Cas could spit it out. He twisted, but the Dean behind him grabbed the sides of his skull and held him still. The demon cinched the belt tight around his head, then grabbed Cas's chin to survey his work.

Cas glared as best he could, trying to work his jaw into a more comfortable position. The demon ran his thumb over Cas's bottom lip.

"You look so gorgeous with your mouth stretched open around that," he said. "Maybe if you're good, I'll let you suck my cock later."

"If this one is anything like mine, his mouth is awesome," said the once-future Dean, the one currently holding Cas from behind. The demon grinned.

"Then I'll have to give it a try, but for now..." He let go and sank to his knees slowly, dragging his hand across Castiel's chest. Cas shivered despite himself as the touch sent fire through his blood.

Future Dean had turned his attention to Cas's neck, sucking bruises into the exposed skin. Castiel focused on the sensation and forced himself to relax into it, eyes fluttering shut as he tried to imagine that this was his Dean. It was his Dean running possessive hands over his chest, his Dean nipping at his neck and along his inner thigh, leaving little marks to remind Cas that he had been there. Marks of possession, not of ownership, because Cas would leave just as many scattered across the planes of Dean's body; on his neck for all to see, on his hips and thighs, and especially over his heart.

Cas was startled out of his fantasy by the sensation of hands gently separating his buttocks and something warm and wet sliding over his entrance. His eyes shot open and he stared down at the demon kneeling between his legs. The demon was licking and kissing over the exposed flesh, teasing the rim with a dexterous tongue before sliding up to lave his tongue over the smooth skin between Castiel's anus and his scrotum.

Cas moaned through his gag, hips jerking, and the demon looked up. He grinned, mouth wet.

"So responsive, angel... and all I'm doing is eating out your ass. What are you going to do with my cock inside you?" the demon asked. He dipped back down, pressing just the tip of his tongue against Cas's entrance.

Castiel gave a muffled cry, hips bucking up into the heat of the demon's mouth. Future Dean's fingers were rubbing over his nipples, teasing them to peaks. His mouth was still busy on Cas's skin, kissing over his jawline.

Castiel's body seemed to have a will of its own; his legs spread to allow the demon in closer, to let his tongue press deeper; his head tilted further, baring more skin to Dean's mouth. Tiny little noises were escaping his throat, muffled by the gag but still audible, and Dean broke away from his jaw to press wet kisses against his temple and murmur in his ear.

"I can hear you, Cas," he said. "How fucking noisy you are for me." He ran a hand over Castiel's chest down to his abdomen and pressed down as he ground upwards with his hips, letting Cas feel his erection against his back. "Always so fucking noisy, fucking _love it_ -"

It hit Cas that, just as he was using these copies to try and turn his fantasies from wisps of thought into tangible memories, the Dean behind him was using him too. For this Dean, he was simply a stand-in for another Castiel. His heart ached, whether from pain or envy he wasn't sure, but just then the demon's tongue thrust sharply against Castiel's entrance and rational thought was lost.

 

Cas could feel the tip of the demon's tongue slide in, and he arched, throwing his head back against Dean's shoulder.

Then he noticed the video camera.

Through half-lidded eyes he saw the vampire standing behind the demon, the small handheld camera in his hands and trained on the way the demon's tongue swept over Castiel's hole. Cas went from pleasure-drugged to panic-tense in a heartbeat, eyes wide. He stilled completely, the heated touches on his skin doing nothing about the sudden chill in his gut.

The Dean behind him noticed his abrupt lack of response almost immediately, but it wasn't until Cas started frantically trying to close his legs that the demon between them realized that Cas was no longer enjoying his ministrations. Cas tried to twist out of Dean's hold, tried to kick at the demon still determinedly attempting to lick him open. He was desperate to cover himself, hyper aware of the lens of the camera as it focused on him instead of just his ass.

Castiel had no idea why they were filming, but he had a suspicion and the very idea made his gut tie itself in all sorts of unpleasant knots.

The demon drew back his head, an irritated expression on his face. Cas felt himself seized from behind as Dean wrapped his arms around Cas, holding him steady. The demon grabbed Castiel's inner thighs, down by the knee, and shoved his legs back open. Cas continued to struggle, but he was powerless. He could feel his face heating with embarrassment and he turned his head away from the camera, the only act of rebellion left to him.

"Why suddenly so modest?" the demon asked, sliding his hands slowly up Castiel's thighs and stroking his thumbs along the smooth skin. The demon glanced over his shoulder, a look of mock-realization spreading over his face. "Camera shy?"

Cas glared. The demon smirked, black eyes running heatedly over Castiel's skin.

"What would someone with a body as gorgeous as yours have to be embarrassed about?" he asked. "You've got the perkiest little nipples-" He leaned forward and laved one with his tongue. "The prettiest little hole-" He slid a hand the rest of the way up Castiel's leg, a finger pressing at Cas's spit-damp entrance but not going in. "And your _mouth_ -"

Cas squirmed, still hyper-aware of the camera.

"I told you he wouldn't like it," Smith said from somewhere outside of Castiel's line of sight. He sounded irritated, though Castiel couldn't tell if it was on his behalf or because the other Deans hadn't listened.

"No one asked you, office boy," the demon replied dismissively, not even glancing at Smith. The demon's smile turned mocking. "Think of this as a souvenir. If not for you... then for _him_." The

 

demon gave a significant glance ceilingward, as though he could see the hunter waiting in the living room just up the stairs.

His worst suspicions now confirmed, a wave of panic swept over Castiel. He shook his head frantically, trying to voice his refusal through the gag, but the sound came out garbled and unintelligible. The sentiment must have gotten across though, because the demon's smirk just deepened.

"Come on, now," he said, then leaned close to whisper in Castiel's ear. "You're so desperate for his cock you'd fuck anything that looked like him - even a demon. Why not spread those legs and show him what he's missing?"

Cas shook his head even more vehemently. He never wanted Dean to see this, to see _him_ like this, not when Dean didn’t feel the same way.

"Pretend he's the camera. Pretend he's watching as we fuck your pretty little ass," the demon said. "What'll he think when he sees you for the good little cockslut you are?"

Cas didn't want to think of that. He didn't want to think of the expression Dean had made when Cas had offered himself up for the ritual, didn't want to think about Dean watching this and seeing exactly what he did to Castiel.

He didn't want Dean to see what he would _let Dean_ do to him, how far he was willing to debase himself to chase a beloved dream.

He didn't want Dean to see this and desire him for the depths to which he'd sink to bring Dean pleasure. If Dean wanted him, no matter the reason, Cas knew he would be unable to refuse even as it killed him inside.

The demon drew back, nipping sharply at Castiel's throat as he sank back to his knees.

"Let's move on then, shall we?" he taunted Cas. Cas shook his head again, though he knew it would do no good. The demon considered for a moment, then glanced towards the far corner. "Office boy, get your ass over here. Bring the lube and your tie."

Castiel's heart sank into his butterfly-filled stomach, excitement and despair warring within him. He waited, tense despite future Dean's soothing touches, and within a minute, Smith stepped into Castiel's line of sight with a generously sized tube of lubricant in one hand and his tie in the other. Smith hadn't removed any of his other clothes, though there was a definite tent in the front of his suit pants.

"Here," Smith said shortly, handing the requested items to the demon without a glance at Castiel. He turned to go, head bowed.

"Where do you think you're going?" the demon asked, rubbing the material of the tie between his fingers in a way that made Castiel distinctly uneasy. He was already well tied up. Were they planning

 

on choking him as well?

The thought sent another chill through Castiel. Had he been too quick to volunteer for this, too quick to dismiss Sam and Dean's concerns and their offer to stay should he need rescuing?

"Hold his leg."

Cas snapped out of his thoughts, eyes wide when Smith scowled but did as he was told, seizing Castiel's knee and lifting his foot off the floor. Cas kicked out, but Smith merely grunted and absorbed the blow. Without leverage, at that angle, Cas could do no damage.

"Shall I prepare him, then, or are you going to take care of that?" the vampire asked conversationally.

"I'm fucking him first, so I'll do it. I don't take anyone's sloppy seconds, not even my own," the demon replied, setting down the lubricant. He smirked, lifting the tie. "And since I'm the one taking his 'most precious gift'-" Cas could feel the demon's disdain dropping from the phrase. "-I think I'd like my present wrapped."

Cas didn't have time to ponder what he meant. The next thing he knew, the demon was leaning forward, hand going around Cas's cock and guiding it into his mouth. Cas thrust his hips up into the wet heat instinctively, making a keening sound in the back of his throat as the demon's mouth sank down.

The demon drew back and stroked him from root to tip, closing his lips over the head and sucking. The arousal that had tapered off with the discovery of the camera came roaring back and Cas moaned, jerking into the motions of the monster's hand.

Then the hand was gone, the heat was gone, and cool silk was wrapping around his cock at the base.

"Hey, that’s expensive!" Smith protested, but the demon ignored him and continued wrapping it almost painfully tight beneath Cas's balls and then tying it off in a perfect bow.

"You look gorgeous in blue," the demon said, giving Cas's dick one last, firm stroke and laughing as Cas thrust up into his loose fist. "If you're good, we might even let you come."

Cas glared daggers, wishing he had some - any - other form of recourse. The demon laughed again and turned to the vampire.

"I'll take the camera, you get his other leg."

Cas protested, but the garbled sound had no effect. The vampire handed over the camera and lifted Cas's other leg in a mirror of the way Smith held it. Castiel struggled, trying to yank his legs free or at least pull them together, but he knew it was in vain. It didn't stop him from trying, particularly as the demon knelt once more, camera held in one hand. Cas breathed harshly through the gag, heart pounding unpleasantly in his chest. His muscles twitched, stomach rolling.

"Let's give him a better look at you," the demon said, reaching out with the hand not holding the camera to pull at one of Cas's asscheeks. The vampire shifted his grip on Castiel's leg and grabbed the other one, squeezing the firm muscle appreciatively as he helped the demon hold Cas open.

Cas couldn't move. He stared down the length of his body, feeling sicker by the moment. The demon suddenly glanced up, camera following. Cas turned his head, but not quick enough.

"No need to look so distressed, angel," the demon purred, letting go of Cas. Cas didn't look to see what the demon was doing, but then he heard the sound of a plastic bottle opening. "We're getting to the good part now."

Cas jerked his gaze back down as something wet and slick hit his perineum. The demon was squeezing some lubricant out of the tube directly onto Castiel, since his other hand was occupied with holding the camera steady. Cas tried to draw his legs in again, trying to cover himself, but the arms holding him down were like metal bands.

"Spread 'em wider," the demon ordered. Smith and the vampire complied, stepping backwards and pulling Castiel's legs along. Cas could feel air brushing against his entrance, could almost feel the camera's stare as the demon began spreading the lube down the cleft of his ass.

Slick fingers teased at his entrance, tracing around the rim and pressing just slightly against it until the muscle began to give, but not going in. Cas squirmed. Future Dean ran a hand up and down his side, fingernails lightly scraping over his ribs.

"So gorgeous down here," the demon said, dragging his fingers over the rim again. "And so fucking _tight_."

He pressed the tip of one of his fingers against the rim and pushed in, forcing it passed the muscle. Cas jerked, surprised, and the demon slowly drew back out to get more lube.

"Gonna make you nice and wet for me," he said, squeezing a generous amount onto Castiel's skin. He dragged his finger through the lube and pressed it inside Cas, less carefully this time. Cas felt the stretch and he shivered, mind trying to wrap itself around the strange sensation of having something moving inside him, stroking over his inner walls.

"You look so good swallowing me up," future Dean growled against Cas's ear. "Fucking _love_ watching my fingers fuck you open, love the way you look when you bounce on my cock."

Cas groaned, feeling a second finger push into him. He shifted, trying to curl away from the touch. It was too much too soon, but then the fingers stroked against _something_ and Cas cried out, jerking _into_ the touch instead of away. The fingers spread and slid out, then shoved back in and hit that spot again.

The stretch burned, unfamiliar and not quite the right side of pain, but Cas wanted more. He tried to ignore the video camera, knowing it was probably capturing everything as the fingers sank inside him and slicked him open.

He would destroy the tape before Dean could see it. He'd break the camera into hundreds of pieces if he had to.

It was an age and an instant before a third finger buried itself to the knuckle alongside the other two, too much time and not enough and Cas _writhed_ as all three twisted inside him. They pushed against his muscles, preparing them, caressing them, and then the fingers were gone for a moment (too long, Cas's body cried) before returning wetter than before. The fingers moved inside him for minutes (hours, seconds) and then they were gone again.

"Knew you'd be a cockslut," the demon said. "I've got something bigger for you, angel. You're gonna love it."

Cas watched, eyes bleary and head dizzy with lust, chest aching with emotion, as the demon stood and unfastened his pants with his free hand. He let them drop and kicked them to the side before slipping out of his boxers. His erection was red and thick, heavy enough to hang low, and Cas felt a bit of trepidation cut through his lust.

"Shall I take the camera back?" the vampire offered. The demon shook his head.

"Not yet. You can let him go now, though. I want him writhing on my dick."

Smith dropped his leg instantly and hit foot hit the floor hard, pins and needles running up and down Castiel's calf. The vampire was a bit more sedate, and the last to let go was future Dean. Cas felt the sheets against his hands for the first time, his back bowed uncomfortably over his forearms.

But his legs were now free.

He brought his leg up and kicked out, snapping his hip over to hopefully drum up enough force to send the camera flying. But his foot was still partially asleep and too sluggish to react to his commands. He missed by mere inches and before he could recover enough balance for a second attempt, his ankle was caught in a vise-like grip.

"I wouldn't try that again if I were you," the demon said, voice low and dangerous. "I've been kind. I don't have to be, and don't think for a second I won't hogtie you if you don't behave." He squeezed Cas's ankle so tightly the bones creaked. "Or worse. Do you understand me, angel?"

Cas nodded, staring resentfully up at the demon and mentally damning it back to the Pit it had slithered out of. The demon smirked and loosened his grip, stroking softly over the now-bruised skin.

"Don't think I'm totally unreasonable, though. You can fight me, if it makes you feel better, but the camera is off limits."

Want still burned low in his belly and heated his blood. He _needed_ , and so when the demon hitched Cas's leg over his hip and nudged Cas's other thigh, Cas didn't resist. He shivered, heart speeding up as he spread his legs and welcomed the demon between them.

"Good choice," the demon said. He released Cas's leg to take his cock in hand, rubbing the head lightly over Castiel's stretched entrance. Cas trembled, leg tightening on the demon's hip.

The demon made a quiet, humming noise of satisfaction as he made a few minor adjustments to the angle of the camera and of Castiel's hips.

"Don't want to miss a minute of this," he said and then, apparently content with the view, he lined himself up. "The first dick inside this greedy little ass of yours."

Cas felt the demon's cock nudge his rim and took a deep breath, releasing it all at once in a hiss as the demon began to push in. He tensed, unable to help it, and the intrusion got that much more painful.

"Oh, _fuck_ , he's tight..." the demon moaned. He stopped thrusting, though, looking up at Cas, eyes green once more. "Relax for me, angel?"

The demon ran a hand up and down Castiel's side in a sweet caress. It was a trick, Cas knew, the demon pulling on the veneer of humanity, but Cas wanted to be fooled. He wanted to pretend that the man above him was his Dean and that what they were doing was out of love rather than a mix of lust and cold calculation.

Cas shuddered, allowing the motions of the demon's hand to calm him. His muscles loosened slowly, and the demon grinned.

"Good, just like that," he said, beginning to move again. Cas fought to keep himself relaxed, but he felt like he was being split open. Fingers and tongues hadn't prepared him for this, not when the demon's erection was plunging deeper than fingers could reach.

The demon suddenly gave a hard thrust and slid all the way in. Castiel's back arched involuntarily, a choked cry tearing itself out of his throat. Cas could feel the wiry hair at the base of the demon's cock brushing against his ass.

Cas felt too full, his body stretched too wide and he gasped for breath, air whistling through the holes in the gag, trying to relax the muscles that had again locked up. It was strange, having another person inside of him, having a piece of their body inside his own.

He vaguely noted the demon handing the camera back over to the vampire. The camera, and the way the other three Deans in the room were watching him, had ceased to matter.

"You feel so good, angel," the demon groaned out, drawing his hips back just a little to fuck in even deeper. Cas's breath hitched. The demon leaned in to whisper in his ear, quiet enough Cas knew the camera wouldn't pick it up. "How is it? Knowing that this is what it would feel like if _he_ fucked you?"

He punctuated his words with another sharp snap of his hips. Cas groaned, head falling back to expose his neck, which the demon gleefully attacked. He started thrusting in earnest, one arm braced on the bed for balance and the other hand gripping Castiel's hip tight enough to bruise as he snapped his hips.

"We're identical, you know," the demon breathed against his neck. He nipped and licked and sucked, mouth harsher than future Dean's had been. "This is _exactly_ -" He thrust hard, forcing another muffled cry out of Cas's throat as his erection brushed passed the same _something_ his fingers had teased. "-what his cock would feel like buried in your ass. This is what his mouth-" He bit down on the triangle of flesh where shoulder and neck met. Cas bucked. "-would feel like, the marks he'd leave."

" _Dean_ ," Cas tried to say, gag forgotten, hips moving in time to the demon's thrusts. Pleasure was rocketing through his veins, intense and white-hot like nothing he'd ever experienced before. His knees tightened on the demon's sides, an unconscious plea for him to go faster. Cas didn't even know when he'd lifted his other leg.

" _Fuck_ ," the demon growled out, grabbing Castiel's hips with both hands. He yanked, pulling Cas's pelvis farther into the air and then slamming into Cas again, each thrust somehow deeper and harder than the last. His grip was bruising, painful, but Cas was writhing, pleasure firing along every nerve as each thrust hit him just right again and again and againand _again_ -

"Does he know what a fucking slut you are for his dick?" the demon asked, never slowing his pace. His voice cut through the bliss roaring in Cas's ears. "Be grateful I can't bring you home, angel... I'd chain you to my bed, plug you up and fuck you whenever I wanted." The demon groaned, eyes closing briefly in pleasure both real and imagined. "I'd feed you nothing but my cock until you were a good little slut just for me, and you would be, wouldn't you?"

Cas tried to protest, anger flashing through him, but it was subsumed by bliss as the demon thrust again. His body betrayed him, toes curling and knees digging into the demon's sides. Still, he tried to communicate his fury through his eyes.

"That best part would be breaking you," the demon said, chuckling affectionately. He bent down to bite harshly at a nipple. Cas jerked, back bowing instinctively to get away from the pain of teeth on over-sensitized skin. "And I would, until the only words you knew were 'more', 'please', and 'harder'."

Cas wanted to retaliate, but he already knew that kicking would do nothing. Thoughts of retribution were pushed out of his head when the demon slammed against his prostate again, his thrusts becoming more erratic and his breathing harsher. The demon's ink-dark eyes shut and he thrust back in one last time before shuddering over Castiel. He stilled, buried deep inside the former angel, then he opened his eyes, green and human, and Cas's chest ached.

The Dean above him wore such a soft, contented expression, and for a moment the longing in his chest eclipsed the fire in his blood.

Then the demon was smirking again and pulling out. To Cas's shame, he felt a whine building in the back of his throat, body empty and erection painfully hard. He could feel liquid, thick and warm, seeping out of him and he shut his eyes in embarrassment.

"Next," the demon called.

"My turn."

Cas opened his eyes to see the vampire - now disrobed - hand the camera over to future Dean and take the demon's place by the bed. Cas expected his legs to be lifted again, but it was clear the vampire had other plans.

"Let's give them a show, shall we?" the vampire asked, settling himself on the edge of the mattress next to Cas. He grabbed the upper belt and pulled Castiel to a sitting position, then manhandled him as easily as a child did their rag doll. Cas found himself on his knees over the vampire's lap, thighs straddling his hips with his feet hanging off the edge of the mattress. His back was to the camera but he could practically feel the electronic gaze focusing in.

The vampire ran his nose lightly over Cas's neck, inhaling audibly.

"Delicious," he husked, licking Cas's pulse point. "Never had an angel before, even a Fallen one." Blunt teeth scraped over Cas's flesh, sending goosebumps across his skin, and Cas tensed. The vampire chuckled.

"I'm not going to kill you, just steal a little taste." His words were thick at the end of the sentence, his deceptively human mouth not designed for speech with elongated, sharp teeth. Cas gasped as he felt pain burst along his nerves. He tried to pull his neck away from the creature now licking at the wound it had created.

The vampire smiled up at Cas, mouth stained red.

"Now to try out that ass of yours," he said, one hand slipping off Castiel's hips. His hands teased at Castiel's ass, scooping up the demon's come and pressing it back inside him. "Don't want to lose any."

Cas shivered, resisting the urge to press himself down onto those fingers. As if sensing his impatience, the vampire laughed again and then his fingers were gone. Moments later, Cas felt blunt pressure at his entrance and then the head of the vampire's cock slid into him. He moaned through the gag, unintentionally squeezing around it, and the vampire groaned in response. He grabbed Castiel's hips again and pushed down as he thrust up, sheathing himself completely. Cas saw stars. He fell forward, his weight resting fully against the vampire as the vampire thrust again and began to establish a punishing pace. The noise of flesh slapping against flesh filled the room.

An arm like a steel trap wrapped around Castiel's shoulders, holding him in place as those vicious teeth bit into his neck again. Cas cried out, the sound drowned out in the vampire's appreciative moan and the slap of skin.

"So fucking good," the vampire groaned against his neck, lapping at the wound. Content with the blood flow, he dropped his hands to Castiel's ass and spread his cheeks to give the camera a better view. Cas buried his face in the vampire's shoulder, body flushed with shame. His hips were moving, falling into the rhythm the vampire had set and rubbing his aching, bound erection against the soft give of the vampire's belly.

He was getting woozy, head spinning with the pleasure that wasn't being allowed to peak and the slow seep of blood from his neck. He couldn't have lost much and the flow was already slowing, but the combination of the two, and the bliss assaulting his senses with every sharp thrust and slow drag, the pressure in his balls, was giving the world a hazy edge.

There was another bite, intense and definite, on his neck. This time the teeth stayed locked in, mouth sucking hungrily at the torn flesh as the vampire sped up the movements of his hips. Cas couldn't keep pace, thighs already shaking with effort, and his body transformed into a boneless mass of sensation and need.

The vampire shuddered, grip bruise-tight on Castiel's ass as he came. Cas wriggled, desperate for more stimulation because he was so close to something wonderful, he could feel it just beyond the reach of his fingertips.

The vampire was still biting him, teeth digging in deeper and deeper, and Cas yelped. He struggled to pull his neck away, but the monster's jaws were too strong and its teeth were in too deep.

Was he going to die like this? He panicked momentarily, then another voice cut through the haze.

"Are you _trying_ to drain him dry?" future Dean demanded.

The vampire's teeth retracted and he drew back, blood staining his chin. He grinned, unrepentant.

"Got a little carried away," he said. He licked over Castiel's bloody neck. "Couldn't help myself." He sucked, briefly, but his teeth didn't come out again and then Cas was being moved. The vampire effortlessly lifted Cas off his dick and set him aside liked a toy that had ceased to amuse. Cas was once more on his back on the bed, legs over the edge of the mattress. His legs felt like jelly, wobbly and weak, and he realized he could no longer feel his hands.

"Office boy, you're up," the demon said, chuckling at his own joke. Cas watched through glazed eyes as Smith stepped forward, then stopped. He was still dressed, despite the fact that he was clearly aroused.

"You're sure this is the only way to get home?" Smith asked unhappily. His obvious reluctance hurt and Cas turned his head, legs drawing together with a new wave of shame at his desire.

"We could kill him," the demon offered casually. Cas jerked his gaze back, gratified by the look of horror on Smith's face.

"No, but... listen, I don't fuck men. I like _women_ ," Smith stressed. He didn't sound convinced and the demon smirked and slunk over to him.

"This disagrees," he said, dropping his hand to cup his double through his pants. Smith gasped, pupils dilating. "Come on, office boy. He's been fucked twice and he's still not half as loose as the women you've had."

Cas could see Smith waver, lust overcoming whatever ideals he held himself to.

"It'll be our little secret," the demon tempted. That was the final straw - Smith was nodding, swallowing heavily. The demon grabbed him by the belt and pulled him towards the bed. Smith followed willingly.

"I take it this is the first time you've fucked a man?" the demon asked. Smith nodded, staring at the way Castiel's dick rested heavily against his stomach. Cas breathed steadily, feeling the scrutiny like unpleasant heat across his skin.

"Can we turn him over?" Smith asked abruptly. "Just..." He gestured vaguely towards the apex of Cas's thighs. Another wave of humiliation and rejection crashed over Cas as the demon laughed loudly.

"Good suggestion," the demon said, clapping Smith on the shoulder. Smith's knees nearly bucked, surprise on his face at the unexpected strength. "And since this is your first time, I'll walk you through how to please a man."

"No, please-"

The demon was ignoring him, though, already turning to run his fingertips over Castiel's abdomen.

"See, angel? You're popping his cherry too," he said sweetly. He traced the lines of Cas's muscles down towards his aching erection and the blue tie around its base. "You've been good. I think you deserve a reward."

Cas nodded, not even caring how desperate it made him look. He waited for the demon to pull at the knot, hoping that he'd finally be allowed to come, but the demon just grabbed his hips and rolled him over. He felt himself being pulled backwards and his legs, still unsteady, scrambled for balance.

The demon laughed again as he settled himself on the bed and moved Castiel's head into his lap. The demon was erect again, leaving Cas little doubt what he was about to be asked to do. The thought made his mouth water even as his heart sank deeper.

"Oh no, angel, you haven't been _that_ good," he said, hands working on the belt that kept the gag in place. The gag fell from between his lips and Cas gasped in sweet, cool air for the first time in what felt like hours. He heard the sound of a zipper and then the soft clink of a belt buckle hitting the floor.

"Let's put this other hole of yours to work, shall we?" the demon asked, ruffling Castiel's hair. Cas narrowed his eyes.

"Go to... hell," he said, voice hoarse and scratchy. The demon grinned.

"Only if I can take you with me." He glanced up and Cas felt hands tentatively grab his hips. "Ready, office boy?"

"I don't need a lesson," Smith grumbled. The demon waved a dismissive hand.

"Just listen, you might learn something," he said. He gripped Castiel's chin and forced Cas to look him in the face. "Open your mouth. And word to the wise, angel... don't get any smart ideas about your teeth."

The warning in his voice was more than sufficient to remind Cas of his earlier warning and the strength of his grip. Slowly, very aware of future Dean as he brought the camera around to capture the moment, he let his jaw drop open.

"Wider," the demon said gleefully. Cas swallowed and opened wider.

The demon grabbed his dick and guided the tip of it to Castiel's lower lip. He rubbed the head of his cock over Cas's mouth, watching closely for any sign of rebellion.

"You want to tease that hole first," the demon said, not even looking at his supposed 'student'. This was an exercise in humiliation, not education. "You want to let them feel it, make 'em beg before you give it to them."

The hands on Castiel's hips were tightening their grip. Cas held still, trying to stay relaxed even as his abs twitched in anticipation.

"And then maybe you dip in-" The head slipped between Cas's lips, the taste of skin and sweat and something almost bitter sliding along his tongue. "-just to see how bad they want it."

Cas tried to retreat, squirming uncomfortably as the demon's erection slid further into his mouth, but the demon's other hand was a heavy weight on top of his skull. The demon slid out and lightly scratched over Castiel's scalp and down his neck.

"And then you make them beg," the demon said. He grabbed a fistful of Cas's hair and tugged, forcing Cas to look up at him again. "Do you want your treat, angel?"

Cas squeezed his lips shut. The demon tsked.

"Bad sluts don't get to come," he said. His leg shifted and for a moment Cas didn't know what he was doing, but then the demon's instep was rubbing against Cas's erection. Cas moaned, jerking into the touch. "So I'll ask you again, do you want your treat?"

Cas gritted his teeth, body screaming at him how much it _needed_. His balls felt about to burst, his cock so wanting for attention it would happily take the clumsy motions of the demon's foot as friction.

"Yes," Cas ground out, hating himself for it. The demon grinned, foot reaching further back and sliding torturously slow.

"'Yes' what?"

"Yes, I want my 'treat'," Cas said.

"Say it," the demon purred, dropping his foot. "Say the words."

Cas closed his eyes and shut his mouth again, cheeks and chest burning. There was silence for a moment, and then-

"Office boy, start putting that lesson to use. Wrap your other hand around his cock."

"But-"

"I don't care if you 'don't fuck men'," the demon snapped. " _Our little secret_ , remember? Be grateful you're the one doing the fucking."

Cas steeled himself, trying to hang on to the last of his pride and resist the pleasure. He wouldn't debase himself completely. He wouldn't beg, not to a demon.

Then the head of Smith's cock was rubbing against him, sending waves of pure need through his over-sensitized body. Cas bit his lip. An arm wrapped around his waist, a hand coming to gingerly wrap around his dick.

Cas thrust into the touch before he could stop himself, a moan tearing itself from his throat. He _needed_ , needed so badly there wasn't a part of him that didn't ache and he was so close he could cry with the frustration of it all. He tasted blood - he'd bitten through his lip.

Smith pushed in, just the head of his dick, and Cas moaned again, mouth falling open because it was stretching him just right and yet not enough. Smith's strokes were more sure now, tighter around him and Cas could do nothing but rock his hips forward and back, fucking himself onto the other man's cock.

He was close, so close _soclose_ -

"Stop. Pull out."

Smith let go of Cas's erection instantly, but it took him a moment or two to work up the will to slide out of Castiel's body. Both men groaned at the loss. Smith stayed close, rubbing himself along the cleft of Castiel's ass like he'd die without constant friction.

The demon grabbed Cas's chin again. Cas was blearily certain he'd have bruises later.

"Say it," the demon said. Cas opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. "Say. It. Beg to suck my cock if you want to come tonight."

"I want..." Cas said. He coughed, shame thick in his throat. "I want to suck your cock."

"'Please'."

" _Please_ ," Cas bit out angrily. The demon grinned and made a circling motion with his hand in front of Castiel's face.

"All together now."

Cas wouldn't. He wouldn't beg, he'd promised himself he wouldn't.

The head of Smith's cock dragged over his hole.

The demon's eyes flicked back to green.

Cas _ached_.

"Pl- please," he forced himself to say. The words tasted like shame on his tongue. "I want to suck your cock."

"Again."

"Please, I want to suck your cock," Cas said. He felt like he was losing pieces of himself with every repetition of the words, pieces it would be hard to find again.

"Louder."

"Please, I want to suck your cock!" There was something about using the demon's exact words without deviating that felt like an act of rebellion. Cas could hold onto a scrap of his pride, since at least it wasn't his own words he was using to beg. They were someone else's, syllables stuck in his mouth and spat back out in trade for the promise of eventual release.

The demon had promised... hadn't he?

"Good," the demon said, patting Cas on the head. "I knew you could be trained, angel. Now show me how much you want it."

The demon let go completely. His cock rested against his thigh and he waited expectantly.

Cas took a small step forward, nearly losing his balance as Smith pulled at his hips. He stretched out his neck and turned his head, opening his mouth to capture the head of the demon's cock between them. The demon groaned as Castiel slid forward, the demon's hands coming up once more to grip the sides of Cas's skull. Cas straightened his neck and sucked clumsily at the length in his mouth, bobbing his head with the motions of the demon's hands.

"Seems this hole's just as slutty as your other one," the demon said. Cas ignored him, focusing on his task and trying not to feel like he'd utterly betrayed himself. "Go ahead and give him what he wants."

That last comment must have been directed at Smith. The next thing Cas knew, Smith was sliding back into him with a loud groan. Cas moaned in relief at the sensation of being filled again, then almost gagged when Smith's first thrust pushed him too far onto the demon's erection.

"Make me come before he does and I'll think about removing the tie," the demon said. Cas could tell Smith was close to coming; already, his thrusts were losing rhythm. He'd spent so much time watching and rutting against Castiel's ass that now that he was actually inside, he wasn't going to last long. Cas threw himself into the blowjob, trying to brace himself so that each hard thrust from behind didn't leave him choking.

He licked, he sucked, he swallowed as much as he could, pushing the limits of his gag reflex before backing off. He tried to recall what he'd seen the babysitter doing to the pizza man, imitating what little he could remember, but it was no use.

Smith slammed in deep and moaned, spending himself inside Cas. Cas felt the man tremble behind him and then pull out, moving away and leaving Cas cold. His head was yanked roughly off of the demon's cock, saliva and precome sliding over his chin.

"Too late. Guess you get to stay trussed up a little while longer," the demon said. "Kneel."

Cas's legs buckled the second he bent his knees, exhausted from the strain of holding him up and weak from the cocktail of sensation singing through his blood. There was still pleasure, but now every nerve was on painful overload, every inch of skin alight and burning.

"Open your mouth." The demon placed a hand on the side of Castiel's head, holding tightly. The other held his erection.

Shaking as much from sensation as trepidation, Castiel did.

The demon guided the tip to Cas's mouth for the last time and thrust in. Cas choked, trying to pull away, but the demon grabbed the other side of his head and held him still. The demon fucked his mouth with shallow little thrusts of his hips. Shallow, but still more than Cas knew how to take. He gagged, eyes watering and jaw aching, but the demon didn't seem to care.

Cas breathed through his nose, inhaling lungfuls of the demon's scent. He kept his jaw loose, wary of doing anything that would prolong the encounter.

The demon gave one last thrust and groaned, fingers tightening to hold Cas in place as bitter liquid filled the former angel's mouth. It hit the back of his throat and he swallowed instinctively, stomach turning.

The demon pulled out, his come dribbling between Castiel's slack lips. Cas spat, trying to get the taste out of his mouth, and the demon laughed.

"Was that so hard?" he asked, grabbing Castiel's cheeks. "What do you think, angel? Should we let you come?" He caressed the side of Cas's face in a parody of sweetness. Cas stared up at him, eyes glazed and lips swollen and slick. He wanted to shout, he wanted to rail, he wanted to protest being used like this.

"Please," he said instead, aching too much to hold onto what remained of his pride. The demon's thumb wiped at some of the come that had slid down Castiel's face.

"No," he said. He popped the ball gag back into Cas's mouth and cinched it before Cas had the chance to rear back. "Last one. Where do you want him?"

"Middle of the bed," future Dean replied. He must have handed over the camera and gotten undressed while the demon had been fucking Cas's mouth, since he was there as the demon hauled Cas to his feet, not a single stitch of clothing on him.

"I got him," future Dean said, grabbing Castiel's shoulders and holding him up as his knees threatened to give out once more. The demon shrugged.

"Suit yourself," he said, walking by them to gather up his clothes.

Future Dean's hands were almost gentle, certainly softer on him than any of the others had been. Cas felt his reality begin to blur as he was pressed into the center of the mattress, eyes up at a Dean who could almost pass for his.

Future Dean grabbed a pillow and shoved it under Castiel's hips, elevating them and taking some of the weight off of Cas's hands. He settled himself between Castiel's open legs and hitched them around his hips. The first brush of his cock against Cas's too-stimulated entrance was very little pleasure and too much pain, the flesh too raw for this to be any kind of enjoyable. Cas tried to keep the pained gasps locked in his throat as future Dean sank inside him, sliding easily thanks to the come of the others.

"Not gonna last long," future Dean groaned as he bottomed out, and to Cas it sounded like reassurance. He squeezed around Dean, thighs and ass, lifting up his hips in invitation.

The camera suddenly came into view again, the vampire (once more fully dressed) getting up on the bed behind future Dean and focusing the lens on Cas's face. Cas turned his head and tried to ignore it. Future Dean fell upon him then, bending over to kiss the gag, to press his mouth to the marks he had left earlier, to whisper in Cas's ear as he began to thrust.

"So good to me, Cas. Always so fucking good to me," future Dean said. "After I lost Sammy... fuck." His voice was choked up. Emotion or pleasure Cas didn't know. When Dean next spoke, his voice was normal again, though full of regret.

"Seems like no matter what world we're in, I always fuck you up."

Cas suddenly longed for his hands to be free, if only so he could wrap his arms around the man above him and assure him that he'd never regret what knowing Dean brought him. In any world, in any timeline, Cas couldn't imagine a version of himself that wouldn't willingly sacrifice anything. He couldn't imagine a version of himself that wouldn't sacrifice _everything_ , a version who wouldn't lay all that he was at Dean's altar in offering. He tried to tell Dean that, but the words caught on his gag and reached Dean's ears as an incoherent mess.

Cas looked up over future Dean's shoulder, staring directly into the camera lens as though it was his Dean, as though Dean might ever see this and could possibly desire him in return.

Future Dean groaned and sped up, sparks of pleasure keeping the pain tolerable. Cas still felt tears leak out of the corners of his eyes as the ache in his balls built. Then Dean was coming with a choked gasp of Castiel's name and it was over.

Dean paused only a moment, still wrapped around Cas, then he was slipping out and getting out of the bed without a backward glance. Cas felt exhausted yet on edge, body not only crying for release but begging for it.

He'd entirely lost track of the video camera, but he didn't even care. He'd worry about the tape after he came.

He felt weight depress the bed at his side and he turned to look, but hands were on him, rolling him onto his side so his back was towards whoever had joined him.

"Does it hurt, angel? Your pretty little ass fucked raw?"

The demon. Cas shuddered.

"I've got another present for you."

Castiel's eyes widened. He felt something hard and cold - plastic? - slide against the back of his thigh. He couldn't twist his head to look, but he could tell it was some kind of toy and it was _big_. The demon was dragging the tip of it, already lube-slick, through the come that had leaked out of Castiel's ass.

"Can't have any of this getting wasted," the demon said sweetly, nudging all of the liquid towards Cas's sore entrance. He pressed the tip of the toy against the hole and slowly began working it in, rocking his hand back and forth. "Going to plug you up good."

Cas felt tears leak out of his eyes as he twisted, cries muffled by the ball gag as the thick plug brushed against his hypersensitive prostate. It wasn't just verging on painful, it _was_ painful, and his dick throbbed, balls aching with the need to come.

His throat felt scratchy, voicebox too full with the words he wanted desperately to say, tongue exhausted from struggling against the gag. He needed to come, he didn't care how, but he felt like he was going to explode if the tie didn't come off.

He was being stretched again, entrance wide, too wide, and then his rim finally slipped over the thickest edge of the plug and the base came to rest between his asscheeks. He shuddered, hips jerking when the demon patted him on the ass and sent shockwaves of pain and pleasure through his body.

"Oh, angel, this ain't even the best part," the demon purred. Castiel's body quivered as the demon reached back down to touch the base of the plug. After a moment, the demon's finger caught on something and Cas heard the device switch on.

The plug began to _vibrate_.

Cas bucked, twisting on the bed as pleasure raced along his nerves, indistinguishable from pain. His screams were muffled by the gag and he closed his eyes as tears of frustration continued to fall. This was a different kind of pleasure than being fucked, a kind that didn't require rubbing up against the rawest patches of skin on his body.

He needed to come, he needed to come, _heneededtocome_ -

His chin was suddenly seized and he opened his eyes blearily. The demon grinned down at him and slid an arm around his shoulders, supporting him so he could see the TV.

It took him a moment, but when Cas recognized the images on the screen, he closed his eyes and turned his head, heart sinking. One of the Deans had figured out how to hook up the camera to the computer and was projecting the video onto the screen. The demon's laughter echoed in his ears, punctuated by filthy words and the squelch of fingers fucking into his ass.

"Good, you understand. Consider it our parting gift."

Cas tried to beg for them to untie him, even just one hand, but he couldn't make his mouth work. He felt himself unceremoniously dropped back onto the bed and he curled in on himself. Over the sound of the video, the vibrator, and his own muffled, choked cries, he heard one of the Deans chanting.

Performing the ritual to send them home, he realized dully. He couldn't feel terror at the realization that they were going to leave him like this, couldn't feel anything but humiliation and need. He couldn't concentrate on the words, couldn't listen well enough to figure out when they'd be gone. His world had shrunk to the area between his legs, sore and aching, every nerve on edge.

He felt it when the ritual finally finished, though. His whole body heated and he cried out through the gag, hips thrusting into nothing. He was alone, still tied up and helpless on the bed.

"Cas?"

Dean's voice was tentative, distant, like he was calling from the top of the stairs. Cas closed his eyes and bowed his head. His heart felt like granite. He didn't want Dean to see him like this. He was weak and exposed, but his body couldn't take any more of this.

"Cas, I'm coming down. You'd better be dressed!"

Cas listened as Dean descended the steps, slow at first and then in a rush, like the lack of a response was suddenly sinister. Dean burst around the corner, gun drawn and gaze flying quickly around the room before he realized that the man he was looking for was on the bed. He stared for a split second, lips parted and pupils going wide, then he holstered his gun with clumsy movements and stumbled towards the bed.

"Cas!"

Cas opened his eyes and looked up weakly, shaking, sweat plastering his hair to his skin. Dean was beside him in an instant, arm going beneath Castiel's shoulders in an unknowing parody of how the demon had handled Cas mere minutes before. Dean gave him a quick, shocked once over, noticing the swollen lips stretched around the gag, the bite marks and drying blood on his neck, the hickies covering him from jaw to navel, the deep bruises on his hips... and then he saw the blue tie, so similar to the one Castiel used to wear, tied in a bow around the base of his red, painful-looking erection. Dean reacted without thinking, yanking at the end that would loosen the knot.

Cas jackkniffed in his arms, coming hard with a hoarse half-sob, half muffled scream all over Dean's hand and his clothes. He fell into an exhausted slump against Dean's side, chest heaving as his cock softened. He still shook, but Dean chalked that up to just nerves and sensation until his trembling fingers managed to get the ball gag loose. It fell damply from Cas's mouth, red marks stretching from the corners of Castiel's lips where the gag had been too tight, and fingertip-shaped bruises.

"Cas, you ok?" Dean asked, gently tilting Cas's head up to face him. Castiel's eyes were glassy, expression pained.

"The plug," Cas gasped out, voice hoarse like he'd been trying to speak for hours and not quite managing. Dean's eyes widened, ears finally catching the faint buzz of the toy. He set Cas down and gently turned him over, trying to be as quick about it as he could. More bruises covered Castiel's back and his hands were disturbingly pale. The base of the plug was easy to spot, protruding between Castiel's bruised asscheeks, and Dean grabbed it gingerly. Cas still whimpered as he eased it out slowly, afraid of causing more hurt. Castiel's hole was red and puffy, shiny with lube and come, and as Dean eased the toy further out, more come followed. More still seeped out, coating the former angel's ass and inner thighs, when Dean flung the still-vibrating toy at the nearest wall. It bounced off and rolled away, Dean didn't care where.

There was a lump in Dean's throat he studiously ignored as he worked Castiel's hands free of what Dean realized was his Tshirt - Cas hissed as blood started flowing back into the dead limbs. He

 

turned Cas back over to get at the belts keeping his arms bound, hoping Cas didn't notice how much his hands were shaking.

"Thank you, Dean," Cas murmured, words slow and fatigued. Dean nodded stiffly.

"I got you, Cas. I got you," he said, voice breaking on the words, but Cas was in no state to notice. The former angel slumped over again, eyes sliding shut as he fell into an exhausted sleep. Dean felt his eyes sting and he wiped roughly at his face with the hand not currently holding onto his friend's naked, battered body.

"Never should have left you alone with them," he said bitterly, cradling Cas against his chest. "Fuck. _Fuck_."

"Dean?"

That was Sam's voice from the top of the stairs. Dean heard him start to descend and shook himself, careful not to dislodge the sleeping angel.

"Stay there, Sam," he called back, voice betraying none of the emotions churning him up inside.

"Why?" Sam asked, suspicious, then worried. "Dean, is Cas-?"

"He's alive," Dean said shortly. His hand tightened on Cas's shoulder. "He's alive."

Sounds caught his attention just then. His brain must have dismissed them, short-circuiting in fear and anger when he'd caught sight of Cas on the bed, but with the immediate crisis taken care of, he heard the moans and soft cries from the TV.

He recognized that voice.

Slowly, almost afraid of what he'd see, he turned to face the screen. His worst fears were confirmed; those bastards had taped it. On screen, he saw Cas straddling the vampire's lap, ass held open as the monster pounded into him. The vampire bit his neck and Cas reeled back. The picture began to zoom in on Castiel's ass, how his body stretched around the dick sliding into him.

Dean couldn't take it anymore.

He laid Cas back on the bed with absent, too-careful gentleness, then was on his feet and across the room in seconds. He wanted to punch something, anything, like that would rid his gut of the nausea rolling around in it, but there was nothing here he could hurt. He settled for seizing the cord connecting the laptop to the TV and yanking it out as viciously as he could. The image of Cas sitting on a cock identical to Dean's vanished from the screen, replaced by an error message. Dean threw the cord down in disgust.

Under better circumstances, the image would have excited him beyond belief, a wet dream come to life. This just turned his stomach.

He swallowed thickly, eyes burning again. He would have liked to return to the bed and take Cas in his arms again, but he knew it wouldn't fix anything. He glanced back at Cas, the last of his anger dissipating into sorrow, and walked to the bathroom to get a clean, soft rag. Fortunately, the witches seemed big on hedonism and the white washrags folded neatly in a drawer were made from the softest cotton Dean had ever touched. He ran warm water over it and wrung it out until it was damp and not dripping, then headed back to the bed.

Cas was still passed out. Sweat and saliva had dried on his face, along with traces of come and what Dean suspected were tears, so he started there. He wiped carefully at the former angel's cheeks, his mouth, and his forehead. Cas stirred but he did not wake, and so Dean continued. He wiped down Castiel's neck, clearing away the blood. He noted the hickies and the bite marks. He moved lower. There were oddly-shaped bruises on his upper arms where he'd fought the belts.

Dean felt his anger rising and he walked back to the bathroom, rinsing and wringing the rag again with a bit more force than necessary. The water that spiraled into the drain carried a pink tinge.

He had to get this over with and get Cas back home, somewhere he'd be safe.

He went back to Cas and gently turned him over to get at the worst of the mess. His hands shook, disgust and rage turning his stomach, as he wiped the come and lube from the backs of Cas's thighs and then, touch feather-light, between Castiel's buttocks. Cas shifted as he did, a small noise escaping his throat, and Dean drew his hand back instantly. Cas wasn't clean yet, not even a little, but Dean couldn't bring himself to cause more pain. He didn't want to violate Cas, not like those assholes wearing his face had.

"Come on, let's get you dressed," Dean said, setting aside the washcloth. He ignored the shake in his voice and pretended Cas could hear him.

Cas's underwear and jeans were in a pile by the bed. Dean carefully slid both garments back up the former angel's legs, trying not to touch him too inappropriately as he dressed him. The T-shirt was a lost cause (and Dean didn't want to put Cas back in it anyway), so Dean shucked his flannel top layer and buttoned it up over Castiel's bare chest. He rolled down the sleeves and buttoned those around Cas's thin wrists as well. He didn't want to leave any part of Cas exposed.

He remembered spotting Cas's jacket and shoes in the bathroom, so he got up one last time to fetch them. The rag he tossed in the sink on his way in.

Once back at Castiel's side, he crossed Cas's arms over his chest and then spread the jacket over him. After a moment's hesitation, he grabbed Cas's belt and draped it over the coat. He tied the laces of the shoes together and hung them over his shoulder, making sure they wouldn't smack Cas in the face. He slid one arm behind Castiel's shoulders and the other behind his knees to lift him. Maybe it was foolish, using a damn bridal carry, but Cas wasn't a sack of potatoes and Dean wasn't about to hold him like one.

A small voice in the back of his head reminded him that piggybacking was something he could try, even with Cas mostly unconscious, but he ignored it.

Cas stirred again as Dean moved away from the bed, blue eyes fluttering open.

"Dean?" he said, and his voice was hoarse, too hoarse. Dean's hands tightened.

"You awake?" he asked, trying to keep his voice steady. Awareness was growing in Cas's eyes and he nodded slowly.

"Put me down. I can walk."

Reluctant to let go, but completely unwilling to disregard Castiel's wishes, Dean lowered Cas's legs to the floor. Cas caught the coat and belt as they began to slide, then looked down at himself as if just noticing that he was clothed. He touched the collar of his shirt, then looked at Dean.

"Thank you," he said. Dean looked away.

"No problem," he replied. They shared an awkward quiet - well, Dean sure as hell felt awkward - as Cas slid his arms into the coat and then pulled on the belt. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Cas eyeing his shoes, but apparently he wasn't up to bending over to tie them.

"We should go," Cas said. Dean nodded and motioned for Cas to go up the stairs ahead of him. Castiel's first few steps up were slow, more than half-limp, but then Cas quickened his stride to something almost normal. Dean followed closely.

Sam was in the hallway leading to the front door, leaning against a wall wearing an expression that wouldn't have been out of place in a hospital's Intensive Care waiting room. He looked up when he heard their footsteps, relief flickering across his face until he noticed the way Cas was walking and the marks at the corners of his mouth and on his neck.

"Cas-" Sam started, but Dean shook his head and mouthed 'later' behind Castiel's head.

"Yes, Sam?" Cas asked. Sam glanced from Cas to Dean and back again, mouth open though it was clear he had no idea what to say.

"How are you feeling?" he went with.

"I'm fine."

Dean cleared his throat. They both looked at him.

"You two get in the car, I'll be right behind you," Dean said. Something had been nagging at the back of his mind and he couldn't ignore it any longer. "Here." He tossed Cas's shoes at Sam, who caught them awkwardly. He left Sam and Cas's confused stares and headed back to the basement.

He slowly crossed the floor to the laptop, hesitation weighing on his ankles. He crouched next to it. The video had apparently kept playing on the laptop, though muted, and the camera was currently focused on Castiel's face. Just his face, ball gag in place, eyes closed with something that looked more like pleasure than pain. Dean found himself unwillingly transfixed as the Cas on screen shifted his gaze and looked directly at him.

Dean swallowed thickly, willing down the arousal that heated his blood. This was sick, this was wrong; he should not be getting turned on. His body, however, didn't want to listen. Dreams of Cas in similar positions, flushed and sweaty and on his back, had fueled Dean's good-time fantasies for months and that was a hard train of thought to derail, no matter the circumstances.

Dean yanked the cord out of the laptop and watched the image freeze, flicker, and fade to the desktop. Hands trembling, he crammed the video camera into one coat pocket and the cord into the other. His coat felt weighed down by more than just the items themselves.

Dean didn't want to leave the tape here, didn't want it to get picked up by the cops and taken in for evidence when the witches wound up reported missing. He could just destroy it, but part of him needed to see what his alternate universe counterparts had done. This wasn't something he could just sweep under the rug and ignore, move on like it had never happened.

It _had_ happened and he couldn't help feeling like it was his fault. Cas was a big boy and could make his own decisions, but he wasn't an angel anymore and Dean had left him in a room with a demon and a vampire. Worse, demonic and vampiric versions of _himself_ , versions that didn't care about Cas the way Dean did. He wasn't sure his future self was much better, or Dean Smith, but at least they were human. Humans couldn't inflict the damage a monster could, though they tried.

Watching the tape would be his penance.

* * *

 

The drive back to the bunker was long and silent. Even Dean's music seemed subdued, playing at a much lower volume than was his usual wont.

Cas sat in the backseat, gritting his teeth every time the road was less than smooth. He wasn't sure if Dean and Sam had noticed, but in any case, they did seem to stick to toll roads rather than the oft-cracked pavement of city streets. Whatever the reason, Cas was grateful.

When Dean finally parked the Impala outside the familiar doors of the bunker, Cas quietly excused himself to wash up. His clothes felt gross and sticky, particularly his underwear, with substances he didn't want to think about. Sam had shot him a sympathetic, worried look, but Dean had just nodded.

He hadn't looked at Cas for more than two seconds since he'd found Cas in the basement.

Cas went ahead into the bunker while Dean and Sam grabbed their duffel bags, trying hard not to feel like he'd lost something irreplaceable.

He stopped briefly by his room for a clean pair of underwear and jeans, but hesitated when he went to grab a shirt. Dean's flannel was warm around him, perfect and soft, and Cas wanted nothing more than to keep it for as long as it held Dean's scent. Dean, however, would want it back as soon as it had been washed; it had been lent to Cas only to cover the marks on his body, not to comfort him.

Cas reluctantly grabbed a clean shirt on the heels of this rationalization and left the room. The shirt felt heavy in his hands.

He locked the bathroom immediately upon reaching it and then he began to strip. He didn't want to look at himself, didn't want to see the memories pressed into his skin even though he could feel them all over.

He kicked his clothes to the side and turned on the water as hot as he could stand, then got under the spray. Only then, finally alone, did he allow himself to think. His body still ached terribly, particularly his lower back. His ass was sore, and he had more bruises than he'd thought, but overall...

It wasn't the way he'd hoped or even expected his first time experimenting with sex to go. It wasn't an experience he thought he'd ever like to repeat, but he couldn't find it in himself to wish that it hadn't happened.

Even if he had known the way events would unfold, if that was the only way he'd get to experience Dean's body, he would have agreed.

He had few regrets. If only Dean's alternate selves had seen fit to free him before leaving, if only they hadn't filmed it, Castiel could have walked out of that room with no regrets save one; that it hadn't been as gentle as he had once hoped for. It was a forlorn hope, he knew. The knowledge had grown stronger and heavier with every week that passed since Castiel had Fallen, with every trip Dean made to the bar and came back smelling like perfume. (The weight was unbearable those nights Dean didn't reappear until morning, still in yesterday's clothes.)

Strange that he'd end up in the one world where his love wasn't - couldn't - even be reciprocated by lust. Strange and somehow... very unfair.

Now Dean couldn't even stand to look at him. Cas had noticed the way Dean had averted his eyes in the basement, the way he avoided Castiel's gaze on the drive back to the bunker. Cas didn't know if Dean was more disgusted by the fact that Cas had agreed to have sex with Dean's identical twins from other worlds, or if he was sickened by seeing the evidence that Cas had allowed himself to be fucked by other men, but something had altered between them in the past few hours. Perhaps irreparably.

He still didn't know what Dean's skin felt like beneath his fingertips. He didn't know what it was like to be loved by Dean. All he knew it what it felt like to be fucked by him.

At least in his fantasies, he could gentle the Dean of his memories.

It would have to be enough.

* * *

 

Dean sat at his desk, Sam's laptop open in front of him and the video camera resting innocently next to it. He'd already connected the cable. The door was locked, his headphones were plugged in (he'd checked both twice and then once more for good measure), but still he hesitated.

It would be one thing to watch porn Cas had starred in without telling Cas he'd seen it. Dean would feel guilty, but only as guilty as he felt upon waking up in the mornings after dreams of smooth skin and blue eyes, or fantasizing in the shower about a hot mouth and a deep voice, or daydreaming of strong hands and stubble while cooking, or-

Well, that was a list that could go on forever. Point was, it would only be mild guilt. But this wasn't porn. This was a film of Cas getting-

Dean couldn't even think it. The thought made the rage bubble up in him again and made him long for his tools and his rack if only this once. Just so justice could be served, even if all the pain and all the blood in the world wouldn't be enough punishment for what they did.

He took a deep breath and released it slowly, striving for calm. His hands had clenched into fists, white-knuckled, and he relaxed them. He needed to keep his cool about this or he'd start taking it out on people who had done nothing wrong.

Cas. Fuck, _Cas_. Dean couldn't even look at him without wanting to find a way to haul those bastards back from the dimensions they'd come from and flay each and every last one of them. Dean wanted to take Cas in his arms and give him comfort, he wanted to hurt those who had hurt him, he wanted to swear that nothing bad would ever happen to Cas again because _Dean_ would make sure of it.

He wanted so much, but he couldn't let on. He couldn't let Cas know how he felt, not now. Especially not now, maybe not ever. He wouldn't ask Cas to try and love a man that looked identical to the men who had raped him.

Dean dragged a palm over his face, breath shuddering in his lungs.

This was wrong. He should just destroy the tape, or hand it over for Cas to shatter as a kind of therapy, but instead he was sitting down to _watch_ it.

But he had to know. It might make him feel like the lowest kind of shit and make him feel like he was violating Cas all over again, but those bastards had shared his face and his voice. If there were certain words they'd used, Dean wanted to know. If there were ways they'd touched Cas that Dean might accidentally repeat in ignorance, he wanted to know.

The last thing he wanted to do was remind Cas of this, however accidentally, but to do that he _needed to know_.

Still feeling sick to his stomach, bile and rage thick in his throat, he opened up the camera's memory and loaded the video file.

Things started well enough. Dean watched as one of the Deans led Cas to the bed, holding his hand. Dean watched as the two figures on screen kissed sweetly and he felt a sharp, momentary stab of envy for his double.

And then, of course, everything went to shit. Dean hadn't known how quickly things had escalated, but his chest tightened as Cas struggled against the belts and kicked out against the men holding him down. Cas couldn't even shout for help.

Dean should have been there.

The thought repeated in his head as he watched Cas's expression turn horrified as he noticed the camera. It repeated as he watched two of his alternate selves hold Cas open so a third could kneel between his legs and get a close up of Castiel's ass as he finger-fucked him.

The words were the worst. The demon was a mouthy sonofabitch and kept up a god damn running commentary. Dean nearly hurled the camera across the room when the asshole threatened Cas and then immediately gloated about taking Castiel's virginity. Nausea was rolled even thicker in his stomach when he saw Cas spread his legs. He'd never seen Cas terrified, but apparently the demon's threats had frightened him enough to comply in the hopes that he wouldn't get hurt.

Dean should have been there.

His fingers itched for a machete when the vampire bit Cas. He longed to take one of Smith's silk ties and strangle him with it. He wanted to visit that once-future version of himself one more time, just enough to punch him across the face and empty a clip into his chest.

He didn't even have words for what he wanted to do to the demon, just a wordless, soundless rage that grew with every filthy word that dropped from the demon's lips. Even the word 'angel' felt tainted, blackened a little more every time the demon said it instead of Castiel's name.

And when the demon forced Cas to beg, Dean saw nothing but red. He yanked the headphones off his ears and shoved himself away from the desk. He got out of his chair and paced, ignoring the burn in his eyes and the unevenness of his breath. He wanted to take the weapon he'd made in Purgatory and go hunting. A nest of vampires, a shifter, a _demon_ , anything as long as it was something he could hack into little, screaming pieces.

He'd managed to calm himself down enough to sit and finish the video, even rewinding it to catch the parts he had missed when he'd walked off his fury, but his rage would not dissipate. He tore off his headphones again after the screen went black and tossed them onto the desk. He covered his face with one hand.

"Damn it, Cas," he muttered.

* * *

 

Dean's lips were warm and soft against his own. Castiel moaned into Dean's mouth, arching against him and squeezing his legs tighter around Dean's hips. Dean was already inside him and it was good _sogood_ , better with every long, deep thrust and Cas moaned again, crying out and scratching his nails down Dean's back-

Cas's eyes snapped open. Another dream.

He was hard and already leaking precome in his shorts. He groaned and shut his eyes, trying to recapture the dream as he slid a hand into his boxers. He didn't usually masturbate, but the dream this time had been so vivid...

The dreams had been getting worse (or better, Cas supposed), in the three days that had passed since his encounter with the Deans from other worlds. He had experience now and tactile information he hadn't had beforehand. Of course he'd touched Dean's body to remake it, but there was a difference between sculpting a piece of artwork and feeling a body against one's own.

He had woken up hard and aching all three mornings since his encounter. His usual method of taking care of the problem was a cold shower, but that wasn’t always effective. Even before Dean's counterparts had fucked him, he'd occasionally woken up from dreams too passionate to be cooled by the water, and now the dreams were more lifelike than ever.

He supposed that the dreams would eventually taper off and he'd stop having to masturbate just to deal with his morning erection, but he didn't know when that would be. He hoped it would be soon; it was painful to touch himself to fantasy-warped memories and dreams when in his waking moments, his hopes had never been further from realization.

Dean had barely spoken to him.

Cas had left his room the first morning after to find a Dean that would barely glance at him and a Sam that kept shooting him sympathetic, pained looks. Dean hadn't spoken much, nothing beyond what was necessary, and Sam had spoken too much to try and make up for Dean's silence, though there was careful avoidance of the elephant in the room. The whole atmosphere of the bunker felt strained and tense.

Sam had pulled him aside after breakfast and offered some ointment for the bruises, which had darkened overnight. Cas had taken it, listening to Dean slam pots and pans around in the kitchen, and retreated to his room. He'd stayed shut in ever since, save for mealtimes and to relieve himself.

Cas bit back the name threatening to spill out between his lips as he came. He made a face at the mess on his hand and in his boxers, then sighed and wiped his hand on the shorts before dropping them in the hamper. He stepped into a clean pair and headed for the dining room. He could already smell breakfast.

* * *

 

Dean folded the omelet over twice, into the proper shape, and pretended not to notice when Cas walked in. He needed to steel himself first.

Today, he was going to give Cas the camera.

He had to. He'd been keeping the damn thing in his room and it felt like a cursed object, something he should be storing in a warded box. It set a weight on his shoulders and he was starting to crack under the strain.

God, he couldn't even look at Cas anymore. The shame was overwhelming. Dean had failed Cas, failed him profoundly. He should have been there, he should have put a stop to the ritual as soon as he'd heard about it, he should've-

But that didn't help anything now, did it? All the 'should haves' in the world were useless, because Dean _hadn't_.

Then he'd watched the tape and as if his crimes against Cas weren't bad enough, his dreams had only intensified as a result. He'd seen in living color what Cas looked like when he was spread open, how far down his body his blush went, heard him beg and seen him come; that last one by Dean's own hand. All of the fantasies he'd had were more real than ever before and twisted his gut with self-loathing and disgust like nothing ever had.

He should've been protecting Cas and instead, he was getting off to a tape of Cas being tied up and fucked against his will.

Dean never wanted to go back to Hell, but for some things, he figured he deserved it.

His own guilt was not the only reason he was giving the tape to Cas. Cas had been quiet and withdrawn ever since... just since. It wasn't much, but it was all Dean could offer in terms of therapy. He would offer to listen if Cas needed to talk, but not yet. Not when he still woke up hard from images on a tape that he never should have watched (that should never have _existed_ ).

The camera felt heavy in the pocket of his robe. He took a deep breath, flipped the omelet onto a plate, and shut off the burner.

"Here," he said, handing the plate to Cas. "Bacon is on the table."

"Thank you," Cas said formally. He grabbed the plate, but Dean didn't let go.

He took another deep breath. Now or never.

"Dean?"

Dean looked up, looking at Cas for the first time in what felt like too long. The bruises on his face were fading, but Dean could still see where the demon's fingertips had dug into the skin and he could see the hickies and the bitemarks on Cas's neck. They'd be there for at least a week, given how dark they were, and Dean felt his anger rise.

He should have been there.

"I... I got something of yours," he said, looking down again as he fumbled with his pocket. He extracted the camera and held it out to Cas, not looking up from the floor. Cas took it.

"That's not-" Cas started to say, puzzled, then he drew in a sharp breath as recognition hit. He was quiet, deathly so, and Dean launched into an explanation.

"I thought maybe smashing it up would help?" he said. "Destroying it, maybe-"

"This is what you went back to the basement to grab," Cas said flatly. His hand tightened around the camera. "Did you watch it?"

Dean should have seen that coming. He opened his mouth to deny it, but he couldn't lie. Not about this.

The plate with the omelet was suddenly shoved back into his chest and Dean caught it with a startled 'oof!'. Cas was turning on his heel and whirling out of the kitchen, camera clenched in one hand.

"Cas, wait!" Dean said, setting the plate down on the counter and going after him. "I-"

"I have nothing to say to you right now, Dean Winchester," Cas snapped, stomping down the hall.

"I'm sorry, all right?" Dean said, voice rougher than he'd intended. "But I had to."

Cas stopped so abruptly Dean almost walked right into him. Cas spun, the fury on his face so intense that Dean almost backed off but there, beneath the wrath, was _hurt_.

Dean felt like he'd just been given the Douchebag of the Year Award. Fuck if he didn't deserve it.

"You _had_ to?" Cas demanded. "It wasn't enough that you found me on that bed, you had to watch how I got there?"

"I didn't want to!" Dean protested, as though by saying it he might be absolved of some blame. "I was trying to help."

"Help how?" Cas asked.

"I didn't want to say or do anything that would remind you of what happened," Dean said, voice slightly hoarse. "Just... shit." He looked away.

Cas was quiet for a long moment.

"Tell me, Dean," he said, voice like steel. "Does it bother you more that they were men or that they looked like you?"

"What?" Dean asked, looking up. "Goddamnit, Cas, it bothers me that it happened at all! No one should have to go through that!"

Cas's expression had tightened, like he was prepared to be furious, but his face softened into confusion at Dean's last statement.

"I don't understand," Cas said.

"What they did," Dean replied. His voice cut out. He had tried to avoid even thinking about it, with less success than he'd like, but he didn't want to say it. It would feel too tangible. "No one should be _forced_."

Understanding lit in Castiel's eyes, along with shock, and Dean looked away again.

"Dean," Cas said carefully. "I consented."

"Damnit Cas, being unable to say 'no' doesn't mean you consented!" Dean shot back. "And you can't tell me you _wanted_ what they did to you."

"I did," Cas said tightly. Dean wanted to throw his hands up in the air. He wanted to throttle Cas, to shake him until Cas admitted that he'd been scared. Dean knew what he'd seen; Cas hadn't just struggled playfully as part of some kind of game. He'd wanted out and until Dean could get him to admit there was a problem and that he'd been hurt, Dean couldn't help.

If Dean had to remind Cas of what he’d gone through before he’d ask for help, so be it.

"What, so you were all for them tying you up and taping the whole thing?" Dean asked. "You were fine with them _using_ you?"

Castiel's eyes flashed.

"No," he snapped. Dean felt the word like a heavy weight in his stomach, the confirmation of a horrible nightmare. He gestured helplessly.

"Then-"

"But even so, if I had known, I would have consented," Cas said. Dean's mouth opened, closed, and he stared at Cas in confusion.

"So you didn't like what they did, but you would have done it anyway?" Dean asked. Upon seeing Cas nod, he felt his anger ignite again. "Cas, we told you we could have found another way. You didn't have to-"

"You think I only agreed to preserve the dimensional barrier?" Cas demanded.

"What else could it be?"

"You," Cas snapped back. He suddenly went shocked and quiet, anger vanishing in an instant.

"'Me', what?" Dean asked. Then he heard the intonation. He drew in a sharp breath. " _Oh_."

Cas glanced away, looking for all the world like he wished the floor of the hallway would open up and swallow him.

"Cas... why 'me'?" Dean asked. His heart pounded in his chest and the blood rushed in his ears. When Cas answered, he almost couldn't hear it over the roar.

"If it was a choice between this-" Cas lifted the video camera meaningfully. "-and never having you at all, I would have said 'yes'."

The air in the hallway seemed suddenly thick. Dean couldn't breathe.

"What?" he managed. Cas looked at him uncertainly.

"I thought you knew," he said. "Or at least suspected, after... everything."

"I didn't," Dean said, voice thick.

"Oh." Castiel's expression closed off and he turned away from Dean again. "Can I trust that nothing between us will change?"

"Cas-"

Cas must have heard the negative in Dean's voice. His lips turned down and he looked back at Dean, still clutching the video camera.

"I received more than I could have asked for," he said. "I don't expect anything, so can we-"

"Hear me out, ok?" Dean asked. Cas quieted instantly, though he looked wary. Dean cleared his throat, but he could still feel the lump inside it, making his voice thick. "This didn't need to happen." He laid his hand gently over the video camera.

Cas tilted his head, puzzled.

"Dean...?"

"I want you," Dean blurted out. He dropped his gaze. "Have for a while. If I'da known that you wanted me too..." The lump in his throat grew bigger and he couldn't speak.

Cas had stilled completely. Dean looked up, concerned.

"Cas?"

"How long?" Cas asked. His hand tightened around the camera again; Dean could feel the muscles shift under his palm. He took his hand away and rubbed it over his face.

"I don't know," he said truthfully. The desire to keep Cas with him had grown steadily, stealthily, until it had insinuated itself into every thought and Dean could no longer track it to its root.

"Is it because of this?" Cas asked flatly, holding up the video camera. Dean stared for a moment.

"Because of the _video_?" he asked, shocked.

"Because there is _nothing_ I would not let you do to me," Cas corrected bitterly. Dean shook his head, reached out, and pulled Cas into his arms. Cas tensed.

"Stupid son of a bitch," Dean said thickly. He closed his eyes, praying the words on his tongue would roll off smoothly without pause. If he stopped, even for a second, he was worried he'd choke. "I've wanted you for a hell of a lot longer than that. Before Purgatory, before the Leviathan... hell, maybe even before I spent that year with Lisa, I don't know." He swallowed heavily, forcing the last few words out. "I need you."

He prayed that Cas could hear the words he wasn't saying, the word he didn't dare _think_ just yet. If the way Cas suddenly breathed in was any indication, Dean thought he might.

Cas's arms came up around Dean, tentatively wrapping around his waist, and Cas relaxed into Dean's embrace.

"What do you want from me, Dean?" Cas asked.

"This is good," Dean replied carefully, squeezing Cas gently. He wasn't going to push, even though his body was _definitely_ rejoicing at having Cas so near.

He smelled like soap and deodorant, and just a little bit of sweat.

"Dean." That tone meant business. Dean sighed.

"Nothing you don't want me to have," Dean said. It was cliche, silly, and cheesy as fuck, but it was true.

"You already know there is nothing I'd deny you," Cas said lowly. "I want to know what you want. One night? Ten? Twenty?"

"More like twenty years." Dean chuckled, a bit nervous and trying to ease the weight of the statement. Cas took a deep, shuddering breath, but didn't speak. "Cas, I..." He still couldn't say it. Not yet. "I need you."

"Dean," Cas said at last, pulling gently back from the hug. Dean loosened his hold reluctantly, only to be surprised when plump, slightly chapped lips pressed softly against his own.

Dean tilted his head and leaned into the kiss. He lifted a hand and cupped Castiel's face and Cas leaned into the touch like he was starved for it. Dean shivered, moaning quietly, and ran the tips of his fingers up and down Cas's back. Cas's arms tightened around Dean's waist and then Cas opened his mouth.

Dean's tongue swept in at the invitation, learning the shape of Cas's mouth like he had only this chance to map it. Cas broke the kiss after a moment, lips slick. He took a deep breath and Dean could see the weight in his eyes.

"I wish..." he said. He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against Dean's. "I wish it had been you."

Dean kissed him again; a gentle peck.

"Me, too," Dean said. "Me, too."

They stayed like that for a long minute, just breathing each other's air, and then Cas drew back.

"My omelet is probably cold," he said. Dean smiled and dropped his hand to Castiel's, twining their fingers together.

"I'll make you a new one."

**Author's Note:**

> I may be doing a followup piece to this, starring OUR Dean and Cas. ^_^
> 
> ETA: Followup has now been posted!


End file.
